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So that each
person in a TAG can be assured of confidentiality and feel at ease,
the group reviews, adapts and adopts their own set of agreements that
guide the interactions on each call. I’ve found
through experience that agreements are the foundation of healthy
relationships. Without them, relationships don’t work and become out
of balance; without them, someone in the relationship loses and finds
him/herself disempowered.
Agreements must
be co-created by those that participate in the relationship; otherwise
they’re not agreements, they’re rules. Since all the partners in a
relationship contribute to making any given set of agreements, each
individual empowers him/herself to be in the relationship, and can
thus experience equality with the other people.
Each person can
re-negotiate to change agreements once they are made.
New agreements can be added by mutual consent as the complexity of the
relationship unfolds and as new needs arise that were not previously
recognized.
Following are
some agreements that have been successfully co-created with other
groups. The purpose of these agreements is to ensure that everyone
gets the most out of their TAG experience by establishing up front how
we want to interact with one another.
I suggest that we
use these as a starting foundation for our group, and that we’ll
adjust/amend them in our first session. Please come with an open mind
and be prepared to co-create workable agreements with one another in a
few short minutes during our first group session.
1.
I
agree to make and keep my agreements.
2.
I
agree to be supported by the facilitator and the other members of my
group in keeping my agreements.
3.
If
I break an agreement, I agree to be supported in looking at what is in
the space between me and keeping my agreement; I agree that I am the
one who is solely responsible for putting any obstacle there.
4.
I
agree to support the other group members in keeping their agreements.
5.
I
agree that we are gathering for co-created partnership. I agree to
help co-create a group space that supports rich communion and growth
as we share ourselves, as well as our individual learning.
6.
I
agree that as a group we are committed to functioning in a cohesive,
harmonious manner.
7.
I
agree to be responsible for getting value from my TAG experience.
8.
As
we begin each session, I agree to clear anything that might keep me
from being fully present. [NOTE:
‘Clearing’ is a coaching term that means to simply state what is so
for you in the moment, without any expectation or need to have it
‘fixed’ by any group member. For example, “I’m noticing that I’m
feeling a bit rushed to be here right now.”
Clearing statements
do not require feedback or response from any group member.]
9.
I
agree to maintain a respectful and collaborative atmosphere and treat
as confidential all that is shared within our TAG group.
10.
I
agree to be respectful of the other group members, and when I am not,
I agree to apologize, and to ask what I need to do, if anything, to
make amends.
11.
I
agree that if I feel that I’ve been disrespected in some way, that I
will communicate that directly to the person involved within 24 hours
of the incident.
12.
I
agree to provide specific details when asked to clarify what I
perceived to be disrespect from someone in the group.
13.
I
agree to complete all prerequisites for the TAG session before I
arrive and to come prepared for the TAG session.
14.
I
agree to ask questions when I am confused and to speak up when I don’t
feel right about a subject or situation.
15.
I
agree to remain open to information, processes, and activities, and to
actively participate in discussions during the TAG session.
16.
I
agree that when someone in the TAG triggers me, or I have a complaint
about an individual, to go directly to that person - and to no one
else - to resolve it within 24 hours after the incident occurs.
a.
I
agree not to complain to someone who cannot do something about the
situation.
b.
In
addition, I agree not to listen to complaints about a situation I
cannot resolve, and to direct that person to someone who can do
something to resolve the issue (the person with whom they have a
complaint).
c.
If,
after going to the person with whom I have a complaint, I feel we are
unable to successfully discuss and resolve our differences, I agree
that I will call on the group facilitator to help mediate us to a
resolution.
17.
I
agree to show up on time for TAG sessions and private coaching
sessions. I agree to take responsibility for knowing the exact times
and what I’m responsible to bring or have for any session.
18.
I
agree to maintain a notebook or journal with notes and assignments and to have it
in front of me for reference during all sessions.
19.
I
agree to clearly communicate my intention to the entire group should I
choose not to participate in any activity or session with the group.
20.
I
agree to speak to the facilitator and other group members with
respect, refraining from negativity or judgment as I communicate my
views or feedback.
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