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Eight Lessons Learned from
Cancer - A Story of Healing and Hope
"A story is a medicine
that greases and hoists the pulleys, shows us the way out, down, in
and around, cuts for us fine wide doors in previously blank walls, and
doors which lead us to our own knowing. Please let your story be heard
and listen to other stories."
~ Sark
Human beings are natural storytellers
and our stories spotlight the wisdom inherent in our lives. In the
sharing of our stories, we come to understand the many ways in which
human beings are alike instead of focusing, as we’ve done for
millennia, on the few ways in which human beings differ.
Through my recent journey with breast
cancer, I’ve come to know in an intimate way the value of sharing
stories. As a part of this article, I am sharing quotes from some of
the wise teachers who have come my way during this journey; their
words capture succinctly my experience or understanding as it has
revealed itself to me through this mighty process of moving from dis-ease
to Ease!
A shocking
discovery…
On the day I found the lump in my right
breast in early October 2003, I experienced a deep quaking at the core
of my soul, and wave after wave of shock and disbelief ran through me.
I thought, “How could this be? I’ve been actively on my spiritual path
since 1988!” Surely with that deliberate raising of my consciousness,
I was well beyond having my body plagued with dis-ease!
Therefore, I reasoned, this lump could
be nothing more than a deposit of calcium or something; it must be no
big deal. However, when my doctor called with the results of the
biopsy, saying that the lump was cancerous, the shock waves rolled
once again.
Because of my strong faith that there
is purpose to all things that show up in life, the shock didn’t
prevent me from going within to consult my Wise Inner Self and my
body. I knew I had created this situation for a reason, I was
committed to discovering that reason and, most importantly, I was
determined to do whatever it took to bring it to light so that I could
begin my healing process.
Eight
Lessons
Lesson #1: Partner with the Body
As I turned my attention inward, my
body and my Wise Inner Self let me know, gently, that I had been
living as a spiritual snob. Ouch! This revelation, though gentle,
really pinched! My body told me in no uncertain terms that I could no
longer ignore its physicality while striving for my spiritual
expansion. If I wanted to ascend to my next level of conscious
awareness in my physical body (which has been my intention), I’d have
to partner with it, communicate with it, honor it, and be a wise
steward for it.
"Honor this experience
[being in a physical body] found nowhere else. Then you will find
yourselves existing here with a different view, a different way of
being and with a wondrous sense of self that you have not, in any
incarnation thus far, been able to experience."
~ The Order of Melchizedek thru Sally Baldwin in
Sedona Journal of Emergence! August 2004 issue
Throughout my spiritual journey, I had
come to believe that my body would simply do whatever it needed to do
to “catch up” with my spiritual growth. I believed I could drag it
along with me without giving it too much thought or care. That worked
for a while, and then my body decided it had to get my attention; I’m
sure it had been unsuccessfully trying to do that for quite some time.
The form of its message was to manifest
a serious dis-ease that I couldn’t ignore. I was forced to take time
to go within and explore the inner landscape that was being reflected
in the outer landscape of my body. Its purpose was to reveal what it
means to be in a physical body, and what it means to take care of that
body. As I learned to partner with my body and ask what treatments,
supplements, movement, etc. were needed for support, my body answered
promptly and clearly. Click to
see the techniques I've used for talking to my body.
Lesson #2: Avoid assumptions
In Don Miguel Ruiz’ book, “The Four
Agreements,” the third Agreement, Don't Make Assupmtions, states:
“Find the courage to ask
questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others
as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.
With just this one agreement, you can change your life!”
I had assumed that since
I didn’t entertain thoughts of illness, I was immune from illness,
especially a life-threatening one! I’ve now come to understand that
this journey through dis-ease was built into my life plan to be
brought into play if I got off-track in my life purpose (which is to
achieve the highest level of conscious awareness possible during this
lifetime.) Part of that conscious awareness is the necessity of
partnering with my body.
Avoiding thinking about having a dis-ease did
not prevent the occurrence of it. What did bring it on? Getting off-track with my life
purpose brought this dis-ease forward as a tool to raise my vibration yet
again (which also fulfills my life purpose.) Isn’t the magical
synchronicity of life astonishing?
"Anyone who has taken on a
terminal illness has done so to add to their incentive to really find
out who they are. Knowing that death is approaching gives the person
many opportunities to find out who they are. Stay with the issue of,
"who am I? Who is in this body? Who is in fear? Who is in pain? Who's
really here?" When you find out who you are, you may get healed, but it
may be of little interest. The knowing of who you are becomes all
important.
Your illness does not have to depend on anything outside your body to
cure it. Healing is an inside job that has to do with raising the
physical frequency. People think that when they get ill, their
frequency goes down. That is not true. The frequency actually goes up
because you stop paying attention to the outside
world. When you are ill, you are not so busy manipulating your
outside environment, so you have the opportunity to get into the Self.
In the end, my friends, the body is a very wise teacher. It allows us
to use it to feel dis-ease so strongly that we yearn for Ease."
~ From “Reflections of an
Elder Brother” by Bartholomew through Mary-Margaret Moore
Lesson #3: Feel the fear and do it
anyway
One of the first promptings from my
Wise Inner Self was to reach out for help; to let my friends and
clients know that I was embroiled in a health challenge. My fear was
that by telling them, I’d burden them with my troubles and that it
would send the message that I’m weak and indecisive, or worse yet, I’d
lose them because they didn’t want to be in the position of having to
interact with someone who was ill. That certainly was not what
happened; the outpouring of encouragement and support was almost
overwhelming and definitely contributed to my healing process!
My greatest fear, however, was whether
I was going to allow myself to be stampeded into the traditional
medical treatments of chemotherapy and radiation. My Wise Inner Self
urged me to really ask, listen to, and follow my body’s messages about
how to go about healing. As I asked my body whether I should do chemo
or radiation, its answer was consistently, “Please don’t poison me.”
To follow that message meant I would have to refuse part of the
treatment recommendations of a powerful authority figure – a doctor!
My biggest growth was in standing in my
own knowing and trusting my body’s wisdom as I told my oncologist that
I was not going to undergo chemo or radiation. This took courage on my
part and broke a lifelong pattern of fear of standing up to authority
figures and speaking my truth. I did it successfully and gracefully;
it felt so good!
Lesson #4: Examine every belief
I’ve also realized that in order to
decide the best course of action to take when facing a dis-ease, it’s
vital to choose what is in alignment with what I believe.
In order for a course of treatment or a change in lifestyle to be
successful, I must uncover beliefs hidden from my conscious awareness!
“…People come and tell me
they are not going to doctors because in the New Age you aren’t
supposed to believe in doctors. I look at them and see that their
grandfather was a doctor, their father was a doctor, their brother is
a doctor, and their sister is a nurse. So it doesn’t matter what the
mouth says; the auric field believes in doctors, and if you believe in
doctors you will greatly ease the tension around the situation if you
will get your body to a doctor and have him tell you what to do. That
takes care of one arena of fear.” ~ From “Reflections of an Elder Brother” by Bartholomew through
Mary-Margaret Moore
As I examined my inner landscape to
identify my beliefs about health and treatment, a number of important
ones came forward that, until now, had run silently in the background
of my mind and thoughts.
I found that I believed in a mixture of
methodologies that included medical doctors, homeopaths, naturopaths,
and energy healers.
I discovered a belief that if I
followed only the route my medical doctors outlined, that route would
lead me to further dis-ease, weaken my body, and that I’d die sooner
than my lifespan is intended to be.
To my utter delight, I also uncovered a
belief that my body’s inherent nature is to seek and maintain health!
Conversely, to my horror, I unearthed a
belief that this “cancer thing” could be my ticket out; that I could
go back into Spirit and be done with being human. It was a great
surprise to find that this belief was part of me, and yet there it
was. What a blessing to have it exposed so that I could consciously
deal with it and explore all that it implies for this stage of my
life.
Unexpectedly, this last belief has been
one of the strongest catalysts for my resolve to regain full health,
giving me the opportunity to re-choose Life and re-dedicate myself to
fulfilling my life purpose here.
Lesson #5: Ask for support
By reaching out to God, family,
friends, guides and angels, I discovered that the load becomes lighter
and the road becomes smoother. If I hadn’t had the courage and
chutzpah to ask for support, I would have missed having the wisdom of
my friends, Kyle and Mary, present at my doctor’s appointments. Each
of these women has extensive experience and training in various areas
of the medical field, and knew to ask questions that I would have
never known to ask! Each of them also has a big heart, and was willing
to make time to go with me and my husband as we met with the
ultrasound doctor, the surgeon, the oncologist and the chemo
pharmacist.
Without Kyle and Mary’s presence and
assistance, big chunks of information would have been lost to me.
There was so much data coming at me, I couldn’t take it all in even
though I’ve always been someone who can usually handle a lot of things
all at once. I simply wasn’t aware of the tremendous impact my fears
and emotions would have on my ability to hear, understand and retain
what I was being told. These two people were angels sent in answer to
my prayers for support…and I am eternally grateful to both of them!
Other friends and clients reached out
almost daily through email, mail, and by phone, asking how I was, and
sending along information about the latest research, the latest
natural solutions, the latest articles and news. Without this input, I
could not have possibly known about all the alternatives I had to
choose from.
My team of health partners was a
vital support system. From my family doctor, to my biopsy
doctor, to my surgeon and oncologist, Spirit has guided me to the
perfect medical team for my needs. Each is highly competent
professionally, yet each has also been quite human and caring at every
step.
Spirit sent me a phenomenal
non-traditional healing team as well. I’ve worked most closely with a
marvelous nutritionist and naturopathic doctor, Cheryl Diane. She has
helped me adjust my eating habits and foods, detoxify my body,
strengthen my immune system, and replenish necessary vitamins and
minerals for health and healing. Acupuncture and cranial sacral
treatments as well as Reiki and other energy healing modalities are
part of this team along with my non-physical Medical Assistant Program
(MAP) team.
Click to see a list of books I found
helpful
With this kind of support in place, it
would be hard to fail at healing! The consistent feedback from my wide
circle of supporters has been that they see me and my journey as
inspiring, encouraging, and courageous. Some have even shared that
they’ve been prompted to renew their own focus on health, explore
healthier lifestyles, or reinstate healthful practices that they’ve
let fall by the wayside. I feel extremely blessed by the many loving
relationships that have been revealed and deepened as part of this
journey!
Lesson #6: Practice gratitude daily
I’m grateful to Creator for the Grace
of the gift that is my life. I’m grateful to Mother Earth for the
beauty she surrounds me in while I enjoy my life. I’m grateful for the
partnership of my body. I’m grateful for the wisdom of my Inner Self.
Most importantly, I’m grateful to the people in my life who care, who
connect, and who are so dear to my heart!
The biggest surprise I’ve encountered
so far is that I actually learned to be grateful for the lump in my
breast as I sent it loving energy every day until it was surgically
removed. The spiritual message I received from my connection with the
lump was that it was serving as a magnet to gather all the bits and
pieces of thoughtforms and attitudes that no longer served me. The
lump was a way of putting them all in one place for easy detection and
removal, clearing the way to rebuild new attitudes that DO serve me on
my quest for expanded awareness.
Gratitude is an amazing force and, as
I’ve discovered, can be found even for things [such as breast lumps]
that initially inspire fear and shock!
Lesson #7: Remember to laugh and love
at every opportunity
Because of this dis-ease, I’ve been
reminded how precious life is, and to purposely look for humor in
everything. Everyone I reached out to sent me humorous messages and
cartoons, along with words of love, kindness, and encouragement. These
usually arrived at moments when I was feeling low or discouraged,
giving me the boost I needed to keep going.
I tell my husband several times each
day how much he means to me and how much I love and appreciate him. We
make time to really listen and talk with one another. I express my
love to my friends and family more easily and more often. I make a
conscious effort to spend time with them and call them.
This lesson was some of the best
medicines I could have ever asked for and continues to help me and my
body stay on track with our plan of retaining health and vibrancy!
Lesson #8: Trust yourself
I believe that everything that happens
in my life has meaning and helps me move closer to achieving my soul’s
purpose here.
“One model you have set up
in your awareness has been that of seeking many things. That kind of
searching only works until you decide you have had enough of seeking
and wish to become a finder.”
~ From “Reflections of an
Elder Brother” by Bartholomew through Mary-Margaret Moore
I’ve stopped being a Seeker and have
instead become a Finder – I’ve found answers, support, joy, peace and
serenity.
I trust my Wise Inner Self and its wisdom
implicitly. I trust my ability to discern what’s best for me. This
journey with breast cancer has steadily led me to trust myself because
I’ve made conscious choices from the knowing of my own heart, putting
that knowing and those choices to the test each and every day. This
trust has proven itself in my health, energy and vibrancy. I am
cancer-free and know I will remain so!
A parting
wish…
What an amazing journey breast cancer
has been so far, and this journey continues to unfold in miraculous
ways! The gift of my body’s urgings is that it has called me forth to
recommit to being here, on this Earth, at this time, and on my soul’s
mission. It continues to remind me what it means to truly LIVE my life
as the best human being I can possibly
be.
“Do whatever you think is
going to help, and do not be dissuaded. Do it, not because it is the
only thing or the “right” thing, but because it helps you get all the
different parts of your body and your psyche in alignment. Then you
can say, “All right, we have covered all of the places where healing
is possible. There is no place to go except to health.” Please, pay
attention to this. Don’t fall into the New Age ideas that have nothing
to do with the real beliefs you hold about health and your body…So, do
not ignore your own beliefs about healing. Satisfy them and move
beyond. Find your strength, set your intention, and transmute your
body.”
~ From
“Reflections of an Elder Brother” by
Bartholomew through Mary-Margaret Moore
My sincere wish for you is that you
thrive in a life filled with health, happiness, grace, love, joy and
friendship without having to face dis-ease to achieve it!
Namasté (meaning the Divine in me sees and honors the Divine in
you)!
Click to see a list of books I found
helpful
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